Genezen van faalangst

Juffrouw Monie, de zanglerares, wat een fenomeen was dat.

Zij koppelde de inhoud van haar lessen aan de totale vorming van de kinderen. Zij liet de kinderen niet alleen zingen, maar gaf ook uitgebreide lessen in toneel, dans en beweging.

De ontwikkeling van de muziek in de laatste jaren werd de kinderen ten gehore gebracht; er werd op gezongen en gedanst en tenslotte werd er een uitvoering voor de ouders gegeven.

In dat proces zag je de kinderen veranderen soms van angstig mompelende en schuifelende figuurtjes in zelfbewuste open, spontane kinderen.

Moeilijker was dit dan ook voor de kinderen die tijdens het schooljaar van school veranderd waren en dus nieuw in de klas kwamen. Zij bevonden zich ineens midden in de bestaande zich vrij en zelfbewust bewegende en zingende groep kinderen. De meesten wisten zich in het begin met hun houding geen raad.
Zoals Andy.

Andy kwam van een strenge opleidingsschool. Hij was daar zeer gefrustreerd geraakt en durfde zelfs bijna niet te schrijven uit angst te falen. Zijn houding was totaal verkrampt; hij sprak alleen in een-woord zinnetjes. Men kreeg nauwelijks oogcontact met hem en de kinderen die op vriendelijke wijze contact trachtten te maken, snauwde hij af.

Toen was het zangles.
Zoals de gewoonte was stelde Monie zich voor aan het nieuwe kind en ze zag al snel wat voor vlees zij in de kuip had. Ze zette hem op een plaats achterin. De kinderen zongen en deden hun balletvoordracht. Andy bleef aan de kant zitten. Met zijn handen in zijn zakken keek hij vanuit zijn ooghoeken naar de kinderen
Er heerste op school een cultuur waarin ieder kind binnen redelijke grenzen zijn gang mocht gaan. Dat was ongetwijfeld de reden dat geen van de kinderen echt op hem lette.

Bij de volgende opdracht stond hij op. Langzaam kwamen zijn voeten in beweging en hij maakte de eerste pasjes. Bij het knippen met de vingers kwam er een hand uit zijn zak en knipte hij af en toe mee.
Hij keek steeds om zich heen, maar nog steeds lette niemand op hem.
Ook Monie reageerde alsof het allemaal vanzelfsprekend was wat hij deed.
In de loop van de les werden zijn bewegingen steeds nadrukkelijker. Ook hoorde ik bij het zingen een zacht bromgeluid uit zijn mond komen.

In de laatste herhaling deed hij volledig mee. Af en toe keek hij naar ons of we speciaal op hem letten, maar wij negeerden hem zoveel mogelijk.

Na de les kwam hij met een voorzichtige glimlach naar me toe en zei zacht: “Juf, ik kan het..ook!”
“Zo”, sprak ik bewonderend, “Nu al?”
Hij knikte blij en liep met opgeheven hoofd naar de andere kinderen.

Monie en ik groetten elkaar met een dikke knipoog.

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