Stemmen horen

Al enige tijd werd het team, en vooral de leerkracht van groep 5 geconfronteerd met betrekkelijk grote diefstallen in de klas. Zo was er zelfs een briefje van 50,- gevonden in een kastje van een kind dat er gelukkig onmiddellijk mee naar de leerkracht was gegaan.
Uiteindelijk werd met veel moeite achterhaald wie de dief was.

De kinderen en leerkracht van de klas waren zeer aangedaan.
Het meisje dat deze diefstallen pleegde was niet wat je noemt een type om zo iets te doen. Maar wie schetst onze verbazing toen na dit dramatische gebeuren er weer geld vermist werd.

De directeur besloot nu strengere maatregelen te nemen. Hij schakelde de ouders in en dreigde zelfs met de politie. Die ochtend gingen de kinderen van mijn klas naar een les over de schooltuin. Ik was even vrij.

Het klaslokaal waar ik les gaf bevond zich op de derde etage. Wat nahijgend van de acht trappen die ik zojuist beklommen had kwam ik op de bovenste etage aan. Juist wilde ik mijn lokaal ingaan toen ik iets zag bewegen op de gang. Ik zag hoe het betreffende meisje poogde een raam te openen en toen dit niet lukte, een andere probeerde.
Zij maakte een paniekerige indruk. Ik liep naar haar toe. Tot mijn schrik bemerkte ik dat ze eigenlijk uit het raam wilde springen.
Wanhopig rende zij weg toen ze mij zag, maar aan de andere kant van de gang kwam haar eigen leerkracht ons tegemoet.

“Ze heeft weer geld gestolen,”riep deze vertwijfeld. “En ik kan mijn klas niet alleen laten. Wil jij dit regelen?”
Het wanhopige kind was mijn lege lokaal in gerend en probeerde tevergeefs daar een van de ramen te openen. Ik gebaarde mijn collega dat ik wel voor het kind zou zorgen en deed de deur op slot.
Het kind zat nu weggekropen achter de kast en sprak in zichzelf leek het. Ik werd diep geraakt door de wanhoop die van haar af straalde.

“Alice, je hoeft niet bang te zijn” begon ik…maar Alice hoorde me niet eens.
Ze verborg haar hoofd in haar armen en riep:” De stemmen, de stemmen,  ik moet het van de stemmen…!”
De stemmen die Alice hoorde dreigde haar, dat wanneer zij niet zou doen wat zij wilden, Alice d’r broertje vermoord zou worden. Zij had in haar geest gezien hoe haar broertje door een groot mes was neergestoken.

Wat een wanhoop; wat een vreselijk dilemma voor zo’n jong kind.
Ik deed wat ik al eens eerder in een soort gelijk geval bij een zoontje van mijn vriendin had gedaan: Ik geloofde haar.
Ik pakte beide handen van het hevig trillende kind en hield deze net zo lang vast tot ze rustig werd en ik oogcontact kreeg met haar.
Alice, ik doe niets wat jij niet wil.” Zei ik langzaam, zodat mijn woorden goed tot haar door zouden dringen.
“Laten we samen met je stemmen praten.” vervolgde ik.
“Nee, nee, dat durf ik niet,” riep ze en sloeg haar armen weer om haar hoofd.
Ik kon haar na enkele momenten van overreding zo ver krijgen dat zij bereid was in gesprek te gaan met de stemmen die zij hoorde.

Eerst liet ik haar ervaren dat zij door ongehoorzaam aan die stemmen te zijn niets te vrezen had. Toen zij hierdoor overtuigd was van haar eigen kracht hierbij leerde ik haar de stemmen voortaan te negeren. Ik vertelde dat haar lijfje een stevig holletje was waar niets of niemand door heen kon komen. En dat deze stemmen haar maar wat wijs maakten.

“Als een jongen in de klas zoiets tegen je zou zeggen zou je ook gewoon niet luisteren. Dat moet je naar die stemmen ook doen. Zoek afleiding in spelletjes met kinderen. En zeg tegen jezelf: ik ben de baas over wat ik doe en niemand anders.”besloot ik.

Het kind werd duidelijk rustiger nu ze bemerkt had dat haar ongehoorzaamheid aan de stemmen niet afgestraft werd door de een of andere ten uitvoer gebrachte bedreiging.
In de loop van de dag werden de stemmen minder dwingend hoorbaar, zei ze.

Ik was zeer benieuwd naar de volgende dag…maar…

De volgende dag en de dagen erna is Alice niet meer op school geweest.

De ouders waren in stilte vertrokken met hun kind Kennelijk geschrokken van de mogelijke confrontatie met de politie en de psychiater waarover door de directeur gesproken was.

 

Anna Lamb-Janssen, copyright

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