15 Wie vertrouwen we onze kinderen toe?

Sommige scholen zijn er nog alleen maar voor gemakkelijke kinderen.
Wie vertrouwen we onze kinderen toe?

Per dag ging het kind achteruit.
Na de traumatische ervaring, die de scheiding van zijn ouders voor hem was geweest, veranderde hij van een nieuwsgierig, lief, hartelijk, gevoelig jongetje in een boos, angstig, dwars kind.
Binnen een pedagogisch klimaat, dat een school toch moet zijn, verwacht je dat de school in samenwerking met de ouders dit gekwetste kind op een liefdevolle wijze moet kunnen opvangen.
Het tegendeel vindt plaats.

Directie en leerkrachten gaan door zijn veranderde gedrag een persoonlijke machtsstrijd met deze 9 jarige aan. Uiteindelijk zit het kind elke dag op de gang.
Hij slaapt slecht, eet bijna niets, huilt uren als hij naar school moet.
Moeder houdt hem enkele dagen thuis. Terug op school zegt de juffrouw: het was veel fijner zonder jou in de klas. Reden voor een aantal vroegere vriendjes om hem op de speelplaats te gaan pesten.
Het kind wil niet meer naar school, niet meer naar clubjes, niet meer buiten spelen. Niet meer leven….
Met veel moeite geeft moeder hem op bij een andere school.
Het negatieve rapport van de oude school doet deze school aarzelen dit blijkbaar moeilijke kind aan te nemen.
Een geëist psychologisch onderzoek geeft geen afwijkingen, alleen dat het hier gaat om een diep gekwetst en getraumatiseerd kind.
De oude school blijft de schuld bij het kind leggen. Moeder gaat op zoek naar weer een andere school.

Deze school heeft geen antipestprogramma, daar op deze school niet gepest wordt. Binnen een dag heeft de leerkracht al zicht op zijn intelligentieniveau. Hij krijgt alle tijd om zijn vertrouwen.
Weer op te bouwen….
Nog steeds zijn er lichamelijke klachten, maar het eten gaat al beter. Hij lacht weer, gaat weer buiten spelen. Het huilen wordt minder.

Je vraagt je af wat er blijvend beschadigd is in dit kind, mede door deze jaren van liefdeloos pedagogisch wangedrag van de school.
De liefdevolle, respectvolle wijze waarop deze nieuwe school dit aanpakt biedt hoop en vertrouwen op herstel. Toch is het kind blijvend veranderd.
Zijn onbevangenheid is verdwenen.

Dit drama heeft zich vlak onder mijn ogen voltrokken. Ik stond machteloos.
Dat dit in 2015 nog mogelijk is in Nederland!
Dit zou in 1965 zelfs afkeuringswaardig bevonden zijn.
Voor allerlei zaken hebben we controle, vergunningen, hoge eisen, maar…
wie vertrouwen we toch onze kinderen toe?

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