Dromen van kinderen

Waarom bezig zijn met de dromen van kinderen? Onze dromen kunnen ons inspireren en een bron van verrijking zijn voor ons, maar ook voor kinderen. Kinderen leven dicht bij het collectieve onbewuste. Volgens Jung leven zij nog in het collectieve onbewuste tot ze “ik” gaan zeggen of “mij” of hun naam. Dan krijgen ze al een beetje hun eigen persoonlijkheid.

Hij zegt bovendien dat kinderdromen kunnen aangeven wat hun levensopdracht is.

Dromen kunnen ook een poging tot zelfgenezing zijn of tot compensatie, tot herstel van het geestelijk evenwicht. Door fantasievol met de droomsymboliek te werken, in verhaaltjes, liedjes en tekeningen, kan het kind aangespoord worden de diepe betekenis van zijn droom te verwerken.

Werken met dromen begint met aandacht. Echte aandacht is essentieel als een kind je een droom vertelt. Dan vindt het kind zelfvertrouwen, respect voor zichzelf en daardoor ook naar anderen, want in dromen is alles mogelijk.

In je dromen kom je gevaren tegen en je ontdekt je persoonlijke schatten; je talenten,  je toekomstmogelijkheden. Je komt er te weten wat je wilt, waar je staat, dat je durft of niet. Je kunt jezelf tonen zoals je bent.

Weet een kind zich hierin gesteund dan zal het steeds beter zichzelf kunnen worden. Het zal zijn persoonlijke vermogens meer ontplooien en hierdoor een persoonlijke vorm aan het leven kunnen geven.

Daarom is het belangrijk ouders en allen die met kinderen werken te stimuleren goed naar de kinderen te luisteren, als zij hun dromen willen vertellen. Van belang is dat je je al luisterend inleeft, zonder commentaar of onderbreking.

Alles wat zich in een droom afspeelt, hoort natuurlijk bij de dromer thuis.

Niets is te gek of onnatuurlijk. Dromen vertellen in symbolische taal over de werkelijkheid van de verteller op dat moment. Zo kunnen onzekerheid en gevoelens van eenzaamheid en verlatenheid in de droom symbolisch tot uitdrukking komen in de vorm van b.v. een angst-aanjagend wezen.

Laat dromen het liefst vertellen in de tegenwoordige tijd. Daarmee brengen we de droom in het hier en nu, krijgen we er contact mee. Zo kun je er weer instappen en de inhoud opnieuw beleven.

(zie volgende kolom)

 

(vervolg van vorige kolom)

Laat kinderen zelf het initiatief nemen om over hun dromen te praten. Voelt een kind zich afgewezen, dan kan dit gevoel traumatische proporties aannemen, met nachtmerries als gevolg.

Als een kind rustig zijn dromen aan een volwassene kan vertellen, kan het ervaren wie het is. Door uitvoerig te vertellen, luistert het kind a.h.w. naar wat zich innerlijk afspeelt.

Dromen maken ook deel uit van het innerlijk veranderingsproces dat zich onophoudelijk voortzet gedurende het gehele leven. Dit is een proces van psychische genezing en heelwording, waardoor een mens uit oude beperkingen kan groeien en meer zelfstandig en harmonieus kan worden.

De openheid naar de dromen toe verschilt gedurende de diverse fases in de kindertijd.

Voor het vierde levensjaar is de scheidslijn tussen droom en niet-droom vaak nog onduidelijk. Het kind is dan intensief bezig zich op de wereld te oriënteren. De kinderhersenen nemen in deze periode talloze indrukken op en verwerken wat noodzakelijk is om zich op een zelfstandig bestaan voor te bereiden.

Het kind beleeft en relateert vanuit zijn fantasie. Soms dromen kinderen over (vermoedelijk onverwerkte) trauma’s uit een vorig leven.

Op vijfjarige leeftijd beginnen kinderen hun dromen wel te onderscheiden en kunnen ze navertellen wat ze gedroomd hebben. Van af deze leeftijd kunnen zij zich ook goed inleven in hun dromen. Vooral wanneer zij door volwassenen worden aangemoedigd en zich gesteund voelen, kunnen ze uitbundig over hun dromen vertellen. Kinderen beleven direct.

Volwassenen daarentegen kunnen afstand naar hun dromen bewaren door ze te beredeneren en af te keuren. Hierdoor zien zij de droom als door een filter en missen ze de directe belevenis. Het is frappant hoe kinderen door de directe manier waarop zij hun dromen beleven, angsten en moeilijkheden kunnen overwinnen. Volwassenen kunnen hiervan veel leren.

In de puberteit is het niet ongewoon dat kinderen geen aandacht aan hun dromen schenken. Pubers dromen minder door de drastische veranderingen in deze levensfase. Toch zijn tieners zeer gevoelig voor de symbolische betekenis van hun dromen.

 

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